After rave reviews of the posts lampooning SEC and Big10 fans, we head to the left coast to take a stab at the PAC-12. Here’s the disclaimer again …
Please note that we attempted to poke good-natured fun at all schools. This isn’t meant to be taken too seriously. If you find your blood pressure rising while reading this, drink each of the 12 beers listed below, and then read it again. Repeat as necessary.
California. Terrapin Wake-N-Bake. Dude! This one is just too easy. Every time I think of Berkeley, I think of this scene from the movie PCU:
Oregon. Bud Light. Since there is a different can for each NFL team, we’re really just trying to get you excited about the colors, masking the fact that we’re a watered-down version of the real thing.
Oregon State. Palisade Dirty Hippie. We’d rather sit around birdwatching than actually pay attention to a football team. Or going to class.
Stanford. Treehouse Brewing Eureka! We’re weird and we know it. We’re oddly proud of it. And everyone just seems to accept the fact that a lot of resource was expended so that we can be so weird.
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| Hite – how we say ‘delicious’ in Korea … and Washington. |
Washington. Hite Beer (Korea.) Since the student body is roughly 2% athletic scholarship, 1% ‘other’ and 97% Asian, it seemed fitting to go with a beer from Korea.
Washington State. Busch Beer. Every student is required to drink a Busch beer every time Washington State scores. Or the coach tortures a player for having a headache. Cold, cheap, and easily forgotten – Wazzu & Busch!
Arizona. Landshark Lager. Don’t care what it tastes like. We’re just here to sit next to a pool, get a tan, and get loaded.
Arizona State. Oculto. Such a really cool logo – strikes fear and intrigue into everyone who sees it. The product is ehhhh, it’ll do if there isn’t any cough syrup handy.
Colorado. Grolsch. I haven’t seen this in SO long. As it turns out, the opening is the coolest part of the whole thing. Largely forgettable after Ralphie pops the top at the beginning.
UCLA. Sapporo Space Barley. Nestled between Bel-Air and Beverly Hills, only the best will do. Space Barley is one of the world’s most expensive beers. Doesn’t hurt that it’s Japanese, since we’re talking about the University of Caucasians Lost among Asians.
USC. Haffenreffer Private Stock. Smack in the middle of Snoop Dogg/ LBC territory, a bunch of snooty elitist rich kids go to an expensive school. Enter HPS – it sounds like something that belongs in the Ivy League, but it’s still just a 40 of malt liquor.
Utah. Wasatch Polygamy Porter. Come on, this is just too easy.
And that’s a wrap on the third installment. We’ll be back soon with the ACC. And then finish with the Big 12. Comments, shares, and like are always appreciated!
