Turns out, Dalton had it right all along.
For any fans of the cinematic classic, “Roadhouse”, you’ll know the answer to this question, and the theme of today’s post: what was Dalton’s 3rd and most important piece of advice to his new crew at the Double Deuce? BE NICE. Yes, today is a complete and 100% departure from beer, but I feel that there are way more important issues going on right now.
What happened? And when did it happen? I don’t recall a single moment that came and instantaneously changed how people interact with each other. It was probably a very slow progression … a creep that slowly dragged humankind from a place from being nice to a place of not being nice. Yes, I know it’s more complicated than that; but still – it seems like we have lost the ability to be nice to each other.
We, as a people, seem hellbent on destroying each other. Quoting a second genius masterpiece of film “Terminator 2”: John Connor asks the Terminator, “We’re not going to make it, are we? Humans, I mean.” The reply … “It’s in your nature to destroy yourselves.” I used to think of that as quality dystopian-style fiction. But is it really? I feel that the overly simplified core of this issue is that we have ceased knowing the difference between disagreeing and disliking. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: it’s okay to disagree with someone and still like them. Let’s look at a few examples from our modern world and see current reality versus a new alternative.
Example 1: Bob is a big fan of Donald Trump. Sam thinks that Donald Trump is a terrible leader and a bad person.
Current reality. Sam says that Bob is a racist and hates women. He probably dropped out of high school and owns an AR-15. Bob calls Sam a snowflake and accuses him of hating America and being a socialist.
New proposal: Sam asks Bob why he supports Trump the way that he does. He follows by saying that he can see the reasoning behind some of his policies but cannot agree with many of them and certainly does not approve of his interactions with people on Twitter. Bob says that he can understand those concerns but reiterates his belief that Trump is only trying to do what’s best for the economy of the US (and also agrees that it would be best if they took his Twitter-machine away.) They agree that it many not be best for them to discuss politics with each other, but can’t wait to see what it’s like to watch the Masters in November.
Bottom line: they agree to disagree … in a civil way. They can still be friends and know that they disagree on some point. They were NICE to each other.
Example 2: Sally goes to the grocery store while wearing a mask and gloves. Jane goes to the same grocery store wearing no protective devices.
Current reality: Sally yells at Jane for endangering the lives of everyone in the store; being completely selfish and reckless with the human race. Not only that but she walked the wrong direction in the canned vegetable aisle! Jane snidely mocks Sally for believing the media-fueled hype about this faux pandemic that’s only being used as a stunt to sell advertising on the nightly news.
New proposal: Jane and Sally agree to disagree. Sally will continue to be very cognizant of her surroundings and will sanitize everything she purchases when she gets home. Jane understands that people feel differently than she does about the current situation. In this case, perception is reality and she will obey the directional markings on the floor and will avoid close contact with other people in the store whenever possible.
Bottom line: They’re respectful of each other’s differing opinions. I guess you could say that they’re NICE to each other.
Example 3: You see someone drinking a Bud Light Orange with a smile on their face.
Current reality: you walk over and ask them if they’re enjoying their watered-down, mass-produced cough syrup. They turn on you and scoff at your $27 bottle of barrel-aged triple-dry hopped Imperial banana milkshake sour IPA. An argument ensues. Beer is spilled … people cry.
New proposal: you do you and allow others to do the same. You realize that we all have different tastes and people don’t have to like everything you like and dislike everything you dislike. Maybe you walk over and say, “Hey, I see you like that orange flavor. Have you ever tried <insert citrus-tasting, low-bitterness beer name here>? I think you’ll get that same citrus flavor but a different overall experience.”
Bottom line: He may try it, he may not. Either way, there’s no judging or beershaming. We can all still BE NICE to each other.
Conclusion? BE NICE to each other. It’s absolutely 100% okay (and encouraged) to disagree with each other from time to time. But that should never be an excuse to DISLIKE someone. There is a major difference, and until we start learning that lesson, the chasm between us will only grow larger. Start today: JUST. BE. NICE