Recently, we had some fun exploring what beer your team would be if it could be characterized into a single beer. We started with the SEC and received a great response. So, this week, let’s slide to the north and explore the fourteen members of the Big Ten (+1+1+2). And a reminder of our same disclaimer from the first post …
Please note that we attempted to poke good-natured fun at all schools. This isn’t meant to be taken too seriously. If you find your blood pressure rising while reading this, drink each of the 14 beers listed below, and then read it again. Repeat as necessary.
Indiana. Back Forty Truck Stop. Sweet, relatively unknown, but it’s country and it doesn’t care what you think. And no – there’s nothing wrong with tailgating from the back of a tractor … or at a truck stop – WITH a Truck Stop.
Maryland. Conscious Culture Festive-Ale Pale. So, our product isn’t any good which means we’ll
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| Maryland would approve … |
confuse you with the label. So many things going on and so many different colors.
Michigan. Koelschip Mistery of Beer. It’s the highest ABV of any beer ever made at 70%. They used to brew one at 65%, but then some brewery in Knoxville came in at 67.5%, so they recounted and came up with 70%.
Michigan State. Magic Hat #9. People are intensely loyal to this brand and the ‘Magic’ it brings to any party. And oh my goodness, does this beer like to party!
THE Ohio State University. THE Madtree Identity Crisis. THE beer that THE people in THE town where THE brewery is located drink. We’re not A Madtree Brewery, we’re THE Madtree Brewery, and we want to make sure you know it. Often.
Penn State. Jailhouse Conjugal Visit. Too soon?
Rutgers. Red Stripe. It’s like some random exchange student that came in from nowhere and wandered into your party, but really doesn’t belong there in the first place.
Illinois. Miller High Life. It’s the Champaign of Beers. We’re the forgotten beer inside a massive brewery. Everyone focuses their attention on the giant beer up the road. So, we just hang out in our quiet corner, being not very good.
Iowa. New Glarus Spotted Cow. You kind of forget about it until you stumble upon it, and then you remember how consistent it is; all that despite never being able to score many points on the IBU scale.
Minnesota. Cold Spring Panther Ice Ale. Yes, we know it’s cold – and that’s how we like it. Weak and super-cold, the beer has little flavor but packs more punch than Lite beer neighbors.
Nebraska. Creature Comforts Tropicalia. With such a rabid and loyal following, this one sells out every single batch, and has since the beginning of time.
Northwestern. Pliny the Younger. The beer that beer snobs will talk about with other beer snobs so that they can show off their intelligence, but they’ve never had it. And never will.
Purdue. Zima. Wait, they’re still around? I haven’t heard about it in so long, I kinda thought they ceased to exist. And it wasn’t that good in the first place! (Editor’s note – yes, it still exists in Japan, apparently.)
Wisconsin. MobCraft Red Zone Jump Around Amber. Maybe this is a cheesy selection, but it’s red, it’s local, and we don’t care if it tastes like urine.
Alright, kids. Another conference is on display. What do you think? Do you have better suggestions for any of the above? Leave comments below and make sure to share with your Big 10 friends!
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