I’ve been there before. Actually, I was there as recently as last night.

It’s getting later in the evening and I can only have one more beer. There are two on the menu that I’d like to have, and I’m torn as to which one I’d rather have. I can look them up on Untappd … I can research on BeerAdvocate, but my tastes don’t always line up with other folks’. I don’t want to order one and then wind up regretting the decision later. Yes … this is basically a matter of life & death.

Two recent experiences color this point. I was at my local watering hole and had heard the buzz (see what I did there?) about a new beer. Said watering hole had said beer on tap, and so I ordered a pint. The beer was New Belgium’s Hemperor. It’s an IPA that’s been infused with hemp. I wasn’t sure that I would like it or not, but I was so intrigued by the concept that I had to try it.

To say it was awful is unfair to beers that are merely awful. This was new levels of awful. Imagine rolling into Animal House the night after Bluto, Otter, Flounder, and the boys went on an all-night bender. You stumble across a still-smoldering bong and decide to take a sip of the bong water. What you find is that someone spilled some of their cousin’s overly-hopped homebrew into the bong water resulting in a vile concoction that isn’t fit for human consumption. Maybe I’m being unfair, but you get the point. Curiosity, in this case, almost killed the cat.

Fast-forward to last night. I’m at the Fred (I refuse to call it the Georgia Chapter Room. Hardcore, old-school Taco Mac fans will side with me on this one) with a friend and am torn between two beers. On the one hand, I have a Kasteel Chocolate Quad, and on the other is Boulevard Barrel-Aged Quad. What to do, what to do. Words that should have left my mouth before the hemp-IPA bomb returned to me … five words that can save you at times like these.

“May I try a sample?”

The five words saved me!!

I’ll admit it, I have some of these traits myself. It’s hard for me to sit here and poke holes in what others are doing, when some may see it as hypocritical. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I am someone who is always seeking out something new to enjoy. When I go out to eat, it doesn’t matter if I find a beer I love, I’ll always be interested in having something different for my second (and sometimes third) beer. At a brewery, I always opt for a flight or two, rather than a pint. It’s not that I don’t like that first beer anymore, but I want to try something new as often as possible. Maybe I’ll find something I like even better? So I repeat, I at least partially resemble what I’m about to discuss.

There is a disturbing new trend in some craft beer circles that I cannot ignore anymore. I am a member of several craft beer groups on some social media outlets. For the most part, these groups provide opportunities for people to
• Discuss the industry,
• Share pictures of whales they’ve found,
• Ask for recommendations on places or brews to try, and
• Arrange for bottle shares and swaps.

These are why these groups were formed and represent the positive side of craft-beer-meets-Facebook. But then there is a darker side. I’ve seen it happen too often now and from far too many people to remain quiet. There are many people out there who consistently feel the need to belittle other people’s pictures, posts, etc. A whale on Monday becomes an embarrassingly outdated find by Thursday. “How can you drink that garbage? The date on the bottom is from two weeks ago!! I won’t touch it unless it was brewed this afternoon.” Why do we as humans feel that the only way to make ourselves better is to belittle others? I am currently on the cusp of leaving some of these groups because I just can’t watch a beer-bully openly mock someone because they’re excited about finding their favorite beer on tap. Or trolling them on the interwebs because their glass isn’t clean enough.

Let’s all agree that craft beer is a great and wondrous thing. Remember when you first tasted that beer … the one that you’d been trying to find for years. You proudly shared your riches and excitement on Facebook only to have some moron chime in with, “It was better last year. I won’t even touch this year’s version.” Why? Just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either. Can’t we all just get along?! The brewers themselves have a collegial relationship with each other – I think we should aim to mirror that with each other.

Cheers, everyone!

Am I a demon? Am I evil?  I hope not, but I promise that I’m trying to change my ways. Sometimes I fear that holding onto my most prized beers becomes more important than the concept of creating community by sharing special beers. Let’s dig a little deeper …

You’ve got a nice beer collection. You’ve been saving some of these for a special occasion. Some are just perennial favorites that you keep in the fridge as often as possible and buy whenever you can find them. The rest of the beer fridge is just everyday filler. Let’s run through a few scenarios to see what your true personality is. At the end, we’ll calculate your scores and see if you’re a demon, a snob, or too altruistic.

Scenario 1

A friend recently went to Belgium and brought you a case of special reserve Chimay Bleu. This is your #1 favorite beer on the planet and you get it whenever you can find it. You cousin-in-law, who likes to try new stuff but isn’t what you would call a beer nerd, asks if he can have one.  You:

a. offer to split it with him, but only because he asked nicely.
b. pretend that you didn’t hear him and offer him a decent amber
c. Give him two and tell him to take two more home
d. Flat out say “NO!” and tell him he’s not welcome back at your house

Scenario 2

You were able to secure a 64 oz growler of a rare barrel-aged one-off release. You don’t know if it’s good or not, but it’s something you just have to try. That night, you’re going to a friend’s house for dinner. You:

a. Leave it at home. It’s not worth the risk of someone sneaking a pour.
b. Bring it, but leave it in the car and keep going back for your own sampling.
c. Bring it and offer for people to have samples if they’d like.
d. Pop it open and fill as many glasses you can. Beer is for sharing!

Scenario 3

You’re at your favorite pub; you and a friend order the same bottle of beer only to find out they only have one left. You:

a. Offer to flip him for it.
b. Ask for two glasses. Beer is for sharing!
c. Yell, “DIBS!” and bask in your quick thinking
d. Offer it to your friend and then slip the bartender a $20 to secretly switch the pours.

Scenario 4

You’re going to a bottle share with some friends. Some of them are high-quality beer snobs like you, and others are recreational/ social beer guys. They may not have tastes as refined as yours. Which beers do you bring?

a. Pliny the Younger & Westvleteren XII
b. That random beer your friend conveniently left at your house last weekend
c. Sweetwater 420 and Sierra Nevada
d. A bomber you grabbed while at the local brewery yesterday … they say it’s supposed to be good.

Scenario 5

A new neighbor moves in next door. You notice the stickers on their beer fridge and a three-tap kegerator being unloaded. He looks like he has a great taste, similar to yours. You:

a. Dig into the cellar and bring out your ‘Holy Grail’ from your collection to welcome your new best friend to the neighborhood.
b. Invite yourself over and say, “Hey neighbor. Do you need any help setting up that keg?”
c. Casually watch him unpack while drinking a Bells Two Hearted, hoping he’ll notice and offer you something else.
d. Offer to help him unpack some boxes while working up a clever way to ask what kind of beer he has in the fridge.

Now, for the scoring. Use this key to come up with your total score for the five scenarios. If you need help with the math, forget it. Just pop open a beer and enjoy.

The Results

If your score is 9 or less – you’re Gollum.

 

If your score is 10-15, you’re a kindergartner.

You know that sharing is caring. but you just can’t let go of that toy. It’s okay to share a beer off of your favorite six-pack, but you’ll never dig into the cellar to share that super special beer. In fact, you’ll probably never drink it yourself. You’ll let it collect dust until the end of time and then pass it along to a grandchild.